I cried. She cried. The odds were stacked against us. We were both unprepared. We almost gave up.

That was around 2014 to 2015.

In August 2016, we got married.

Am I happy that we tied the knot? Yes of course. But the painful experiences we had, it was unforgettable. It forced me to look at the brighter side of life. It taught me lessons I will forever treasure.

Pain.

Remembering a painful experience reminds us that life is not in constant euphoria.

We have to experience pain to learn and grow and appreciate the good.

When I reminisce our struggles with my wife, nostalgia and fear jolts. It’s warm. And it’s the best feeling — it puts me in a “Work Hard” mode.

I then realize all the things we sacrificed to withstand adversities. Yes we made it.

All we have and where we are right now aren’t an accident. We are here because we risked and we put in the work.

Memories.

Memories, whether good or bad, are useful. We can use them as references when making big choices in life.

Two years ago, I was working in a business process outsourcing company. I had no freedom. I wasn’t happy. The thing that only made me happy was chatting with my wife via Gchat. (Note: This was the time I was about to resign.)

Confession: The reason I’m writing this is because I accidentally reread some of our conversations on Gchat.

I almost cried.

Not because our conversations were touching, but because life was incredibly difficult back then. No words can describe.

I remember how it feels. The pain. The loneliness. The depression. The misunderstandings. The fear. The confusion. The insecurities. And the fear of not having enough money to pay the bills and buy necessities.

Of course, I also remember the happiness.

I don’t want to go back.

I don’t want to experience that kind of rock bottom again. I’m okay if I fail, but as long as I can, I will not allow myself to be miserable.

Then again, life is unpredictable — bad things happen at random times. And we don’t have control over that.

What should I do? Focus on learning and mastering my craft. Focus on doing great work and providing value. Focus on improving myself and inspiring people to do the same. Focus on connecting with the right people. Focus on love.

The point is to focus on the things I can control.

What about money? Doesn’t it make life more comfortable and allow people to do more things? Yes. But I don’t want to work only for money. I want bigger reasons such as growth, value, and meaning.

If I keep worrying about losing money and earning more money, I will never earn the right amount of money I need to finance my growth as a person.

Focus on thinking right + doing right. Not worrying.

“Some things cannot be taught; they must be experienced. You never learn the most valuable lessons in life until you go through your own journey.” —  Roy T. Bennett