Your house is most of the time open for those who want to visit.
And these visitors often have different agendas.
There are 4 groups:
- The first group wants to see you and spend time with you. They want to know about your life’s recent events. And they also want to share their recent life stories. Sometimes, they want to talk about random stuff. Some bring positivity. Some bring negativity.
- The second group doesn’t really want any of your attention. It’s hard to know what their intention is. Often they bring interesting items. Sometimes they hang out for a while. Sometimes they leave immediately. But they really want nothing from you. They’re just passersby.
- The third group wants to hang out with you even if you’re busy. Most of them bring food and beverages. Some cajole you to come with them on an impulsive trip. They can be annoying sometimes. Their goal is to make you feel good and enjoy life with them.
- The fourth group knocks on your door asking for help. They want to stay for a while until they solve their problems. They really are in a bad situation and even though it hurts their ego to ask for help, they run out of choices. Unlike your other visitors, they’re not into the fun stuff. All they want is relief.
If you look closely, this is what’s happening in your mind almost every day.
First Group
These are the common ordinary information you process regularly. These are about your life or other people’s lives. These are the common problems and successes and failures you hear about every day. Current events, politics, celebrities, friends, trends. And on and on.
Some bring positivity. Some negativity. You can’t even tell whether or not you need them. Are they really necessary?
It can be overwhelming to process all of these. You have to determine whether or not you’re good at handling this barrage of daily information. If you can’t, it’s your job to intentionally set a clear boundary between yourself and all this information.
Are they distractions? Block them.
Second Group
These are the random (but mostly useful) thoughts that you accidentally think about. These are your curiosities. Your dreams. Your a-ha moments. Your desires and ambitions. Your fears. Your what-ifs.
Funny how you always mistake them as scary — but they’re not. If anything, they are magical and mysterious! Sometimes they make you inspired, excited, and motivated.
Sometimes, confused. Even more confusing is when you try to figure out where they come from. They just sprout like mushrooms.
What makes this group weird is their unpredictability. One moment you welcome them and embrace the possibilities. Tomorrow they’re gone. Just gone. Poof!
These are some of the thoughts you wish could stay longer. Even though you’re unsure about them, they give you a jolt of excitement in ways you can’t explain. You can’t control them. But you can always use them as leverage whenever they visit.
Third Group
Those unnecessary impulsive thoughts fall into this group. All your trivial wants. All the time-wasters.
You fully know that these thoughts don’t truly matter. Not urgent or important, but you desire them. You’re after the reward. Which is to really feel good.
And since it’s human’s default to want the good (or avoid the pain), you can’t resist them most of the time. Yes, they sabotage you.
Don’t worry. Nothing’s wrong with them. They’re not evil. Just be aware that they might bring consequences you’re never prepared for.
And although it’s almost impossible to block these thoughts, you can train your mind to stop being the victim. And you can design your daily life in a way that minimizes these thoughts. Try this.
Fourth Group
These are all the necessary thoughts that need attention — your health, finances, house repairs, work deadlines, projects, legal obligations, family time/responsibilities, relationships, and so on.
Although they seem important, you often ignore them because their consequences aren’t that visible at first.
It could be difficult to address this group, especially if you’ve already committed to many things. If you can pay others to work on this (aka outsource), that would be great.
But if you don’t have the financial capacity, then you have no other choice but deal with them even if you don’t feel doing it. Otherwise, you’ll pay the price.
To avoid entanglement, the best way you can do is to intentionally create more time for these things. You can’t wait for the right time. You have to make time. Force yourself to make it happen. Say NO to other things you used to say yes.
So… who are your current visitors?